I deal with this subject in my book, Anger Goes to Church. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to answer your question, which I cover in chapter 15. I got the author's permission! (Click on the book's title for ordering information.)
The New Living Translation renders 1 Corinthians 13:5 this way: "Love keeps no record when it has been wronged." Agape love, or God's love, produces amnesia! To God, confessed sin is forgotten sin. Psalm 103:12 says, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." In Isaiah 43:25 the prophet writes, "I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins." Isaiah 38:17 says, "It is You who has kept my soul from the pit of nothingness. For You have cast all my sins behind Your back." Psalm 103:3 reminds us that "If you, Lord should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?" Sin placed under the blood of Jesus is gone and forgotten. Hallelujah!
Ofen we hear people say, "I'll forgive, but I won't forget!" I used to subscribe to this way of thinking until the Lord challenged me one day. A lot of Christians buy into this unscriptural teaching. In reality, it's justification for continued grudge holding!
Forgive and forget. Is it possible? Yes and no! All of us have been hurt in the house of God, or in our families, or in our friendships--probably on many occasions. The prophet Zechariah said it this way: "I was wounded in the house of my friends" (13:6). Someone said, "I'm not God, so it's impossible for me to forget those hurtful people and situations in my life. I don't go brain dead when I forgive. I still remember the details!" That's not exactly true. Given time, none of us with one-hundred-percent accuracy remember the details of our lives. However, we do assign an amotion to everything that happens to us.
When offenses come our way, it's not our spirit man who gets wounded; it's our soul man. Our soul--mind, emotions and will--reacts negatively during times of offense. Again, we don't remember facts. We assign negative emotions to those facts. I am the middle of seven siblings. It's amazing when we get together as adults and discuss childhood memories. None of us agree on the facts, and all of us assign different emotions to what took place. Both positive and negative emotions surface, depending on individual interpretations of the facts!
Like people in general, Christians get hurt along life's journey. Jesus warned us that offenses will come, especially in the last days. "And then many will be offended..." (Matthew 24:10). However, we possess the indwelling Spirit Who helps us righteously process negative experiences that afflict our souls. Through prayer, God assigns new interpretations to our negative experiences. What people sometimes mean for evil, God reverses for our well being--and theirs!
Genesis 50 concludes with the story of Joseph. Now second in command in the land of Egypt, he says something to his brothers that illustrates this process. Joseph had been terribly mistreated by his brothers. At 17, he was cast into a pit--probably an empty, deep well--because of their jealousy. Later he was sold to a caravan of Ishmaelite traders on their way to Egypt. During the next 13 years he faced his share of trials, but in the plan and purpose of God he ultimately triumphed and ended up as Egypt's prime minister.
Psalm 105:17-19 describes his plight: "He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant: Whose feet they hurt with fetters: he was laid in iron: Until the time that this word came: the word of the Lord tried him." I'm sure Joseph experienced many anxious days and anger during those trying years.
Eventually, a severe famine in their homeland drove his brothers to Egypt to seek relief. Joseph, of course recognized his siblings, but withheld his identity long enough to weigh their motives. A game of cat and mouse centering on his beloved brother Benjamin followed until Joseph became convinced of his brothers' changed hearts. When life brings pain and unfair days, we have two choices. We either respond negatively or positively. We get bitter or better. One definition of forgiveness is "relinquishing our rights to get even, or to take matters into our own hands." In the soul realm, Joseph perhaps had ever right to punish his brothers. Instead, he chose to embrace a righteous interpretation of the facts.
"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many peoples alive" (Genesis 50:20). This was Joseph's defining moment!
We will continue with this answer next week...
